Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas everybody!!!!!

She's home!!!

Finally Kaiti has been released from the hospital. I picked her up around 4 o'clock and we were very happy to see our momma. They had no real answer for what caused the seizure. They had more test results that they were waiting for but they decided that because of her age and health that they could let her go. If they find anything in the results that are out of the ordinary then they will call us. She seems to be doing fine but her body hurts. Otherwise, she's getting around just fine. They said she can't drive for 6 months but I'm not sure how that's possible. We'll have to figure some things out. Anyway, I'm going to go enjoy the ol' ladys' company for awhile. I'll write more later.

I Love You, Kaitlin.

I guess it's true that you don't know what you've got until it's gone. Or in my case, almost gone.

Today was a bad day. Kaiti and I had been arguing about something stupid and I decided to just leave. I had to buy a new uniform for work. I was gone for about an hour when I decided to come home. I was going to go get a haircut and pick up a few groceries so we could survive another day. But I didn't. I had to get home.

I turned on the computer and started browsing away, while Kaiti laid on the bed next to me. She was about to fall asleep for her afternoon nap when suddenly she sat up and said, "Oh, No."

I looked over at her and she was flexing her fingers and fanning her face. I was sure it was an anxiety attack. She gets them from time to time and they usually blow right over. So, I watched her and asked, "Are you OK?". She wouldn't respond to me. Numerous times I repeated the question, and every time I got no answer. "This must be a bad one", I thought.

She started to calm down so I laid in bed with her. Not more than a minute later she sat up again with this crazy look on her face and said to me,"I'm going to go to sleep now."

She fell off of the bed violently and began to seizure. Her body was stiff, her head tilted back, and her arms were flimsy. She shook crazily and made horrible sounds. Blood dripped from her mouth. I sat next to her trying to calm her down as Mari watched, crying her eyes out.

I ran for the phone and called 911. Tears poured from my eyes.

I had never felt so helpless.

I stayed on the line with the paramedics as Kaiti continued to flail away. With each motion, my heart broke a little more. Thank God the children were sleeping. Even I can't get over it.

It went on for a good 4-5 minutes. For the whole phone conversation. And then, she stopped. No pulse, no breathing. I felt her wrist and then her neck over and over but I got nothing. This is not happening. Then, a violent breath. and another.

And she began to snore. Her breathing was bad, but it was breathing. Long inhales, lazy, long exhales. I rolled her on her side so she wouldn't swallow her tongue and I ran my fingers through her hair trying to comfort her. Her eyes were still partially open and a blank stare looked up at me as I gazed lovingly and completely desperate into her eyes.

The paramedics showed up about 5 minutes later. Six of them stormed into the house and began checking her vitals. They confirmed it was a seizure and carried her down to the ambulance. She wasn't responding to anything she was asked. The doors to the ambulance closed and she was gone.

I quickly got Zach to come over to watch the kids. Then Mari and I got in the car and headed to the ER to meet up with her. I stayed for about 5 hours and they ran multiple tests on her. About an hour after she gained conciousness she started to come around. She had no idea what day it was, where she was, or anything. The doctor said he needed to keep her at least overnight to monitor her and do more tests.

So I waited it out with her in the ER until she had to go to her room. I layed my head next to hers and wrapped my arms around her as she fell asleep.

"I love THIS woman", I thought in my head over and over.

I kissed her lips, told her I loved her, and walked out the door with my head down. Tonight the hospital has my wife. Tommorrow I want her back. And I want her fixed.

I love you Kaiti-bean. With all my heart and soul. I miss you already. You know, I complain alot about how broke I am but tonight I realized what I really can't afford and it had nothing to do with money.

Sweet dreams beautiful. I'll see you bright and early in the morning.

I'll be the guy with the roses.

It's SNO-O-Owing!!!!

Christmas is comin', y'all!

Blasted teeth

Like most of the VanSciver's, I was blessed with chalk like teeth. Lately they are just killing me. My front teeth are fine and when I smile, you can't really notice the trouble in the back. My teeth are like the mouths version of a mullet. Business in the front, party in the back. Everything was going just fine and then all of a sudden I felt this crazy pulse run through my molar, up to my eyeball. The next morning I woke up and my gum was swollen. I have had many abcesses in my time, but the ones before would swell out and make my cheek swell and continue through my face until my eye was swollen shut. This one was swelling up the roof of my mouth.

I have been having enough trouble sleeping as it is because, yes, I am still sober. Last night was horrendous. I tossed and turned and got small intervals of sleep until I woke up having difficulty breathing because my nasal passages were being blocked. The right side of my face was in so much pain. Something had to be done.

I took a safety pin, heated it up to sanitize it, and jammed it through the bubble on the roof of my mouth. It began to bleed something fierce and i squeezed every bit of blood out of it until the swelling was gone. I rinsed my mouth out with listerine and drank a ton of water.

It was not pretty, but I have no insurance and couldn't afford to go to the ER or to have a dentist drain it. I missed work yesterday because of it and I can't miss anymore.

I don't recommend it to anyone, but the problem is solved now. For the most part at least.

As I mentioned, I am still sober. I am doing very good. The only problem is re-learning how to do things. Like sleep. It is wierd trying to fall asleep without just passing out. I have been drinking for over 10 years, and drinking alot. Now I just lay in bed until Kaiti gets sick of the TV being on and then I resort to the living room for the rest of the night.

I want to drink but I am keeping my promise. My cravings have gone down and I have been feeling better physically. I am still tired all the time and my body is adjusting a little slower than I hoped, but I am waking up in a better mood and feeling better throughout the day.

Thanksgiving is coming and I am pretty excited for it. I'm sure we'll be eating at Grandmas house, but I decided to adopt the apple turkey tradition this year. The kids will love it.

Christmas is also in the air and I am so happy. It's my second favorite time of the year. I can't wait to get a tree and decorate the house and all. I plan on loading up on all of the best DVD's and drinking a lot (of hot chocolate) and wearing Cosby sweaters. What ever happened to caroling? Nobody does that out here. It seemed so common when we were growing up in New Jersey. I remember our church would go do it every year. I miss that for some reason. The Christmas lists are pouring in and Kenzee wants this and this and this. Oh, and that too.

We are keeping it a little more on the minimal side this year because they are so spoiled by grandmas and grandpas and everyone else. It reminds me of when we were kids and Dad would go downstairs and exclaim, "He Came!!!!". The living room is just filled with toys. And though at the time it seems like you're doing good by spoiling them, it is too much trouble trying to find places to put everything. So, we're going to set a limit for each kid and stick to it.

In other news, we have been offered a house here in Lakewood that we could rent. It would be perfect but it is a little bit pricey. I have been dying to get out of this apartment for a long time now. This is our fourth year in this 2-bedroom hut and we just don't fit anymore. The house is huge though. It has 6 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, 3 living rooms and is 3 stories. It has a full front and back yard. The backyard has a dog run, in case I ever get that dog I always wanted. Even though it's an English Bulldog that I want and I don't know how much he'd use a dog-run, it'd still be nice.

The house belongs to a friend of ours and his family. Our friend is being deployed and his parents want to move to Nebraska. They don't want to sell the house altogether and told us they'd like us to live there. The mortgage is $2100/month, but he said he'd let us rent it for $1800. Kaiti and I would take one room, the kids would get their own rooms and then Zach (brother-in-law) would get his own room. That leaves two rooms open. Right now I pay close to $1000 a month for where I live so I wouldn't mind paying the same for ALOT more space. We need one more person who is trustworthy and doesn't like to party. It's still in the early stages but I'll let you know.

Also, I am a bit late but as I said before, yesterday was a bad day. I want to wish Abby-Dearest a very happy belated birthday. We love you, sis!

Happy birthday, sweetheart!

It's hard to believe that my baby is 3 years old already. Time has just flown by. Soon, she'll be in school and then dating and before you know it I'll be crying my eyes out as I give her away at her wedding. But she won't be dating until she's 25 or so, so I guess I still have time. We had her birthday party at great grandmas. She had a princess cake and got lots of presents. She got new skates, a stroller with a baby, movies, and a bunch of other stuff. We ate Little Ceasars pizza and drank Big K soda because it's cheap, but delicious.

Kenzee isn't taking being 3 too well because we made a deal that when she turned 3 she had to get rid of her "Elmo cups". Her Elmo cups are sippy cups. It's time to move on to big girl cups. She doesn't eat very much of her meals because she always has that cup attached to her face. She was OK with it yesterday, but today she's confused. I guess she thought she was only 3 yesterday. Time to grow up little one.





After reading the Nielsens blog and following the links on Abby's post about the Nielsens, we had an idea to do a balloon launch of our own. McKenzee's great uncle and good friend, James, died on her birthday two years ago. So, after her party, we wrote notes on little pieces of paper and sent them to the heavens for James and his sister Kelly. We miss you guys!!!









Kenzee's great uncle James and great Aunt Kelly. This is a pointalism picture I drew for Great Grandma Mary after James died. Kelly had died a year earlier.



And to think they used to be babies. (Calix and McKenzee)

Long night

Last night was miserable. I think it's the first time that I didn't work a shift that I was supposed to, and didn't come home and get completely drunk. I had taken a day off here and there and given up a shift just because I desired to get drunk.

I paced the house, started a book, and cleaned up a little. I sat in bed with Kaiti until about 1AM. Then I retreated to the living room so that I could let her sleep.

It's a terrible feeling. My throat quenches of thirst for beer. I drank water all night, until I decided to mix it up and make a pitcher of apple juice. I lay on the couch for a couple of hours watching tv and thinking.

I am trying my hardest. I will not give in.

Kaiti has been doing good at talking me out of liquor store trips and even threatening me when I ask for some. She has been my strength so far.

But I get cold sweats and stomach aches and I cramp up. It hasn't even been that long but it's like my body is so used to having alchohol in it that it's turning on me. My head hurts and I'm shaky.

Even this morning I wanted a drink. I never drink in the morning. I know it will pass.

I started rewarding myself with a blue star on my calendar for everyday that I don't drink and a black "x" for everytime I slip up. So far, so good. It's like Kenzee's star chart for when she does her chores or shares or eats all her dinner. Except I don't get to go to the toy store when I reach a certain number of stars.

My reward will be much larger.

Cigarettes are on their way out of here, too. What once was a pack or more a day (depending on my drinking), has gone to two or three cigarettes. I got Nicorette patches and I will start using those soon. I want to try cold turkey first. I don't want some patch pumping me with nicotine.

Anyway, thanks to some graciousness, I was able to pay my rent on time. That was a huge help for us and we are so thankful. Now it's time to tackle the other stuff. Not spending $20 a night on booze should help out quite a bit. I'm excited to see the difference.

If you haven't noticed, I've been writing alot lately as well. It helps keep my mind of everything. I want to upgrade my blog. I think I will soon. I want to make it look all fancy and use different texts and use lots of pictures.

Hopefully they allow me to work tonight. It would be a huge help to us. The Broncos play tonight so I would think it would be busy. We shall see.

Also, I have to go to my old restaurant today to reapply. I need a backup plan and although it's not alot of money, it could sure help. I want to get a different job all together, but with Kaiti's schooling it leaves me limited to what I can do. Hopefully when she graduates we can both work mornings so that we can have the evenings as a family.

I also applied for school at Red Rocks. I am supposed to start in January, but I have to work out a lot of the details. I want to go study Renewable Energy Technology. It seems like it will be a good career a little down the road. Especially with Obama vowing to spend a lot of money finding other options aside from oil. A degree is 61 credits, about 2 years I think. I'm still undecided though. I will keep you updated.

Anyway, I got to get up and start my day for real now. I will talk to you all soon.

WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW!!!

So, I go to work tonight ready to kick some behind and make some money. I was on a mission. Rent is due today and I am still short. I figured I'd make at least $200 and I'd be OK to write a check for rent at midnight. Then- like a brick to the temple, I get there and they have decided to close the upstairs of the restaurant. That's where I work 4 days a week. They say it's too cold and they don't see a point in keeping two bars open when they can't even keep one bar full. That's BS. The past two years they have been open and it stayed busy the whole time. The problem is that when the balcony is open, nobody wants to sit downstairs because they'd rather drink and smoke out on the balcony. Now that the balcony is closed, there are only so many places to sit. In turn, the whole restaurant stays full. My district manager doesn't see it that way. So, I lose my shift tonight, and he says tomorrow probably too. Where does that leave me? On the verge of a breakdown. I want to drink. But I won't. I fear this may be the biggest obstacle I've ever faced. McKenzee's B-day is Monday and I won't have any money for a gift. My rent is due NOW, and I can't pay it. My car payment is due Tuesday. I don't know how I'll pay it. My car insurance is past due and has to be payed by the 9th or it gets cancelled. It goes on and on. I am looking right now for a new job, but even if I got one tomorrow, I wouldn't get payed in time. I am a complete mess and I feel like I let my family down.

Anyone can dig a hole, but it takes a real man to call it home

So, my soberness is coming along. But it's not coming along easily. I've been doing much better, but I am now willing to admit that I am an alcoholic. I just need to focus and find something else that will occupy my mind so I don't resort back to the booze. I want to quit so badly. It's just so hard. I had an easier time cutting drugs from my life. I guess I just see alchohol as 1. Legal, 2. Less harmful and 3. A good way to have fun at social events.

I woke up a week ago, Monday, and couldn't remember much from the night before. But I remembered that I drove to the store. I drove. Drunk. I swore I wouldn't do that, but my decision making when I'm drinking is terrible. After that night, I started feeling bad for myself. What am I becoming? I am feeling depressed alot lately and I just want to be left alone.

I am forehead deep in debt and my phone just rings and rings and rings. I'm at the point where I feel so overwhelmed that I just want the tide to wash over me and take me away. I feel like a big powerful elephant who has ten lions hanging from his flesh. He fights and fights, throwing lions off of him, but eventually- you see it in his eyes. He knows he has to give up.

Now, I'm NOT suicidal. Don't think that. Although on that same night I drove, I was mumbling rubbish about being suicidal to Kaiti. But rest assured, I would never do that. I do love my life and my wife and children, but this Chinese water torture of financial hell has me screaming "ENOUGH!!!!".

There is relief in sight. A few months away. If we can just stay afloat until then, then I am confident we can get back on top of things. Kaiti will be getting in the neighborhood of $2500 from school and I will be recieving taxes almost double that. We just have to keep plugging away and prioritizing.

As for alchohol, I want to make everyone proud, so I am really trying. I have been really trying for awhile now, but then I'll slip up. I get bored. I crave it and when a football game is on or something, I feel like I have to drink.

I know there are other things I could be doing. More productive things. Something that produces results. But I am exhausted all the time. My job is wearing on me. It is hard being away all the time. My hours are my biggest problem. Who WANTS to work until 2 in the morning? It's just that right now it's a necessary evil. It also keeps me sober.

Last night was hard on me. I couldn't sleep. I was sweaty, like a meth addict or something. I really just wanted a beer. "Just a six pack", I kept pleading to Kaiti, but she has been strong and insisted that I don't drink. I went to King Soopers last night just to walk around, to take my mind off of everything. I ran into a friend of mine. He was a regular at the bar but I hadn't seen him in months. He looked much slimmer than I remembered and seemed different. I asked where he had been and he told me that he was no longer drinking. Something about the courts are making him stay dry for 2 years. He said it wasn't a DUI or anything, but felt ashamed to tell me what had happened. So, I left it at that.

I have an honest desire to be sober for the rest of my life. To feel happy, and energized and motivated. I don't have those qualities right now, but I'm working on it. I did just get two new books from the grocery store (50% off- Sorry Barnes & Nobles). I got "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy and "Wicked" by Gregory Maguire. I'll start them this week.

I may have to take up Hannah on her weight loss fun, too. I weighed myself because I've been feeling alot larger than usual, and I was 197 pounds. So, back to the workout room for me. I seem to lose weight really fast when I don't drink for awhile.

This week and next week are trying times for me and the family in terms of bills due in a small amount of time. If I can get through this without drinking, then that's a small battle won for me. I close the next four nights and hopefully I can make some money. Otherwise, we'll just have to let things take their course.

Anyway, I have to get to work, so I will talk to you all soon. I hope you voted!!!

GO VOTE

It is so important that you all vote today. This is the biggest election of our lifetimes.

Presidential Dance-Off

BREAKING NEWS: THEY HAVE DECIDED TO SKIP THE VOTING THIS YEAR AND JUST HAVE A DANCE-OFF FOR THE PRESIDENCY.

Childrens books

So, I decided to start writing and illustrating books for my babies. Nothing big, but I think it'd be fun. I wrote my first one this morning. It's called "My Dads Got A Monster."

eh-hemm. Here we go....

My Dad's Got a Monster- who's giant and hairy.
Sometimes he's friendly,
But sometimes he's scary.

He hangs out alot and he tries to be funny.
But Daddy's friend "Monster",
Takes all our money.

My Dad's got a monster that takes all his time.
I try and I try
To explain that he's mine.

He makes my Dad lazy and he acts like a slouch.
When the monsters around,
They just sit on the couch.

My Dad's got a monster. He says, "He's so fun!".
But we want to hang out too-
We're your daughter and son.

When he's not working, the monsters a must.
"We want to play, Daddy!",
But there's no time for us.

My Dad's got a monster- He always brings drama.
He's rude and he stinks
And he's mean to our Momma.

He yells and he shouts and his attitudes grim.
He says it's the monster,
But we know that it's him.

My Dad's got a monster. He just has to go,
He's no longer welcome
Because Momma said so.

He's taking our Daddy, and we're making it clear.
You don't have to go home Monster.
But you sure can't stay here.

My Dad's got a monster... But he's making him pack.
Our Dad's a good Daddy
And we all want him back.

It's OK Daddy- Just try to be strong.
I'm sorry, my babies,
It was him all along.

My Dad HAD a monster that he bought at the store.
My Dad loved that monster,
But my Dad loves us more.

PLEASE VOTE NOVEMBER 4TH

EFFIN IDIOT!!!!!!! WORDS CANNOT GO THE LENGTH TO DESCRIBE THE SICK FEELING I GET IN MY STOMACH EVERY SECOND SHE OPENS HER STUPID MOUTH. I WANT TO VOMIT WHEN I THINK ABOUT THE POSSIBILITY OF HER RUNNING THE COUNTRY. SHE IS ONE 72 YEAR OLDS HEART ATTACK AWAY FROM BEING THE PRESIDENT. I WISH THE BRIDGE TO NOWHERE EXISTED SO SHE COULD JUST DISAPPEAR.

HALLOWEEN PICTURES

SO SAD THAT HALLOWEEN IS OVER NOW. WE HAD SO MUCH FUN THOUGH. WE ALWAYS TAKE THE KIDS TO THE MALL TO TRICK OR TREAT FIRST BECAUSE THERE'S A TON OF KIDS THERE AND IT'S FUN TO SHOW OFF OUR KIDS COSTUMES. EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT THEY HAND OUT THE WORST CANDY (DUM-DUMS AND JOLLY RANCHERS), IT'S A GOOD TIME. THEN WE WENT TO SOME TOWNHOMES BY OUR HOUSE. THAT'S WHERE THE KIDS STRUCK GOLD. CANDY BARS AND CHOCOLATE COVERED PRETZELS AND CHEETO BALLS, ETC. WE ONLY STAYED OUT UNTIL ABOUT 8 AND THEN WE GOT HOME AND WATCHED THE REST OF GHOST HUNTERS LIVE. IT WAS PRETTY COOL. ANYWAY- I GOTTA RUN SO I CAN GET READY FOR WORK. I'LL WRITE MORE LATER. HERE ARE SOME PICTURES FOR YOU-


THE BOUNTY






MY PRETTY LITTLE TINKERBELL



TRICK OR TREATING THROUGH THE MALL



GREAT GRANDMA GOT THE TRICK OR TREATING STARTED



TRICK OR TREAT!!!




CHIK-FIL-A COW MAKES AN APPEARANCE


CINDERELLA, MEET TINKERBELL


PETER PAN, OR ROBIN HOOD (AS MOST PEOPLE KEPT CALLING HIM)







WHAT'S WITH THE FACE MS MCKENZEE?




ISN'T HE THE MOST ADORABLE LITTLE MAN YOU'VE EVER SEEN?

Over the weekend

We had a pretty eventful weekend. Saturday was the halloween party and that was pretty fun. We didn't get to go to the Obama rally, but that's probably OK, since there were over 100,000 people there and I get anxiety attacks in that kind of crowd. On Sunday we had a big ol' filet mignon dinner. It was so good. Tender and juicy and wrapped in bacon. Mmmmmmm. Then we carved our pumpkins and ate pumpkin pie. What's better than pumpkin pie with some Cool-Whip? If you answered nothing, then you are absolutely right.

We've been getting into the spirit big time here. Watching "scary" movies and all. We LOVE the show Ghost Hunters. It's pretty cool. They are having a live special on Halloween night in some castle or something. I've been having trouble finding scary movies that are actually scary. So, this week we'll just stick with the old reliables. I like "the Stand", "It" part 1, "Blair Witch", "Sixth Sense" and oldies like "Amityville", "The Haunting", and "Halloween".

We still have to plan our trick-or-treat route for the kids. It is supposed to be perfect weather on Friday. They say 70 degrees or so. We still have to get their pics taken but as soon as we do, you will know. Here's some other pics for you.






Couples picture! Jonah and Jen, Kaiti and I, Andrea and Mike.



Lil' Mikey




Jonah and his "wife" Jen




Uhhhhh......




Yeah- it's the best I could do for $20. I'm not sure what it is, but it creeped everyone out.



That's MY beautiful Greek Goddess. I swear she gets more beautiful everyday.




I love these pumpkin carving books. They are so easy and fun.



Kenzee liked pulling out the innards. I hate it. In fact, I won't do it. It feels like wads of wet hair, like when I clean out the shower drain. Not my favorite thing.



Mari had trouble securing the stencil. We didn't have any tape, so we just used little nails. By the time she got started, her pumpkin looked like Hellraiser.



Here's me trying my best to be creative. Kaiti is actually the best pumpkin carver in this relationship. She blew through three pumpkins quick and they looked perfect. Mine kept falling apart.



Finished product. They look pretty good, I think.

Halloween fun

I really wish I had these videos. It was tradition to watch them over and over and over every Halloween in our family. These were two of my favorite. The third is the Great Pumpkin, but I have that one on DVD.





Tonight Kaiti and I get to go to a Halloween party at Mike and Andreas house. For those of you who don't know, they are the parents of Jonah's god-daughters, LaLa and Biscuit. Kaiti just went to return her costume for something else and I am going to be some guy. I don't really know how to explain it. It's a random mask and a robe. It was cheap. That's all that mattered. We wanted to match. Kaiti was going to be Dorothy and I would be the scarecrow, but the Dorothy dress didn't fit right. Then we were gonmna be Lil Red Rididng Hood and the Big Bad Wolf, but the dress didn't fit right again. We tossed out so many ideas that we just gave up. Let's just be "whatever".

It should be fun. Then tommorrow we get to go to Barrack Obamas rally and speech down in Denver. That will be fun. I want to take pictures but I don't think you can bring a camera. I'll double check.

Man, it's gloomy out right now and the wind is whipping through the trees and brushing the leaves around the parking lot. I love it.

HALLELUJAH

So yesterday we went to the doctor to get Kaiti's ultrasound done and I am very pleased to announce that it is NOT cancer. The doctor says it is just liquid in fatty tissue. So, we can breathe a huge sigh of relief and continue with our lives.

We are still doing very good except we are arguing now about me getting a second job. Money is super tight right now and I think it will be until tax time when we get a little relief and catch up on everything. The business at my restaurant is slowing down considerably and they are cutting shifts. I usually work in the upstairs of the bar, actually almost always, and they are considering closing the upstairs on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. It probably won't take effect until January 1st, so I should be fine through the holidays. We just have monthly obligations that far exceed our take-home.

So I called my old work (Black-eyed Pea) and asked if they needed any help. They said they were in need of servers bad and welcomed me to come back in. I told them that I couldn't commit to anything and that I'd like to just pick up shifts whenever I could and that was mostly OK with them. Kaiti doesn't like the idea because we wouldn't get to see each other very much. That bums me out too but what else am I to do? I have to keep this family afloat through these times and I am willing to sacrifice everything to do that.

After hearing her be so upset, I skipped my interview with them today. It was probably a dumb move, but I believe they will take me back whenever I want, so I can always go back.

Today I spent a few hours in the DMV. It's probably the most stressful thing to me. I have very little patience and when you get your number it becomes a game. I looked at my number. #73. Ok- don't look at the screen yet, don't look up. I say a little prayer and hope the counter says, "Now Serving: 72." Like powerball or something. Please let my number match....

"Now Serving:48"

D'oh!!! Ok, it should go by quickly. It's not the big DMV, just a little place in Golden. One hour later- "Now Serving: 52".

I can't help but think of Dane Cooks standup:

I went to the DMV, or as I like to call it, "Satan's A**hole". And you go, "I'm gonna go early. I'm gonna get there at 6:01". You get there and there's people like sleeping in sleeping bags outside, 400 people waiting. Nobody's talking either. Everyone's just standing there... everybody's dead quiet. But you know everybody's thinking the same thing.... AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! Go!!!! Go!!!!! You know what they should do? When you go, they should have someone just hiding and just punch you in the face. At least then you could be like, "I guess waitings not that bad after that punch in the face". In the year 3000 everything will be instant. Everything. Just get into a teleporter and, "Bye!". But the DMV will still take like 9 *bleepin* seconds.

Anyway- I got it done. I now have a CO drivers license. YAY!!!

I am also proud to announce that I voted today. Thank you, thank you. I hope that ALL of you get out and vote. This is a pretty important election and the country is in bad shape. Whether your vote is McCain or Obama, you should vote.

There were a few issues on the ballot that I felt pretty strongly about as well. Amendment-wise. Amendment 48 was a definite NO for me. It was the "Definition of Person" Amendment. It would make abortion illegal in all cases and even ban birth control. It was a woman who wrote the amendment too. Plus I voted for mandatory health insurance coverage to be provided by businesses with 25 or more employees, and against Colorado becoming a right-to-work state. There was lots of stuff. But I feel good that I did it and I even got a sticker.

Anyway, I'll write more later. The World Series is on. Go Phils!!

This is a picture i took on the way home. Now, imagine being right there, about 60 degrees or so, the wind lightly blowing and the leaves tumbling across the street. Man, I love Colorado.

So, today we went to Littleton because they have a HUGE pumpkin patch and fun stuff for kids. It was so cool. I don't know if we just snuck in or not, but there was a $10 cover charge and we paid nothing to get in. That's just fine for me. The kids were so excited, It was me, Kaiti, mari, Kenzee and Mad-Dog.

I don't remember ever going to an actual pumpkin patch. I remember places that had picked pumpkins and all and you just went and picked already picked pumpkins, but this place was an ACTUAL pumpkin patch. It was like cutting down your christmas tree. It was SO fun roaming the farm trying to find a perfect pumpkin.

Kaiti liked this one. Mari ended up getting this one. It had green on it and it was a good shape, but I wasn't sure if it would be orange eventually or just stay green.

The kids wanted to get face-painting done and the girls who did it were pretty amazing. You should have seen some of the stuff they did. Expensive? Yes. But it's so worth it to me to give my children a memorable experience.

A marriage was about to take place and I just loved the atmosphere. It was so great to see all the trees changing color and the barn and the weather. It was just so perfect.

Mad-Dog is a demanding little man and as soon as he saw the horses he looked at me and said, "RIDE-IT". He LOVES horses. They're cool and all, but Madden LOVES them. He's a little cowboy in the making. He wears his cowboy hat and says, "Giddy-up, Partner". He's not even two. He just loves them, so I had to fork out the dough.

Mari is more my child than her mothers' so I take her with us everywhere and she got to ride a pony as well. Her mother is the problem for most of us.

Mad-Dog LOVED these Belgian horses.

They are the cutest this way. When we go through parking lots or whatever, they hold hands. So cute.

Kenzee was too scared, but Madden was a trooper when he got to meet Dora and Boots.

Doctors appointment and more

Yesterday, Kaiti and I went to the doctor to get her initial checkup. It was a very frustrating day. I wanted to go so that I could be in the room with her and hear what the doctors had to say and everything. Instead, I got stuck in the waiting room for almost 2 hours trying to corral two bratty children. I just about lost my mind. They wouldn't listen to a word I said and they kept screaming at the top of their lungs. It was very embarrassing and miserable. Anyway, Kaiti came out of the room, finally, and she had a bag in her hand and other paperwork. I was so stressed out of my mind that I just loaded the kids up and we left without saying a word to each other the whole way home. After we got home, I asked what had happened and she started to cry a little bit. At first they thought it might be something to do with her period until they felt it. Then they said they thought it was a cyst, until Kaiti told them about the pain she was having in her arm and armpit. Then they decided it was probably a fatty tumor. This was just stupid to me. It sounded like they were holding wrapped presents and just trying to guess. "Hmmmm...it's round, must be a ball- but wait, it's also soft.....maybe it's a pillow. Now hold on- it makes noises.... it's a....it's a.... stuffed...animal?" For them to suggest tumor or cancer without doing any sort of biopsy or ultrasound was a little premature and it set Kaiti off into frantic mode. So what do they do? They set an appointment for her on the 22nd! The 22nd? That's two weeks away, ma'am. If you are going to suggest cancer, then shouldn't we move this thing along, like NOW? It just doesn't make sense to me. So, since she is too young for a mammogram (doesn't that sound like a senior escort service?), she is getting an ultrasound in two weeks. I guess that's the best we can do right now. So yesterday, I took the night off to spend time with my so sad wife and comfort her. First though, I headed to Wells Fargo. I asked for the bank manager and she brought me to her office. I explained to her the situation and began to cry a little. "Please miss...you have no idea how much money that is to me and my children.... that's food for a month.... and I'm a single father...working day to day...and blah, blah, blah." I mean, most of that's true, but the tears were pretty fake. Anyway, she reversed all of the charges and I just had to put in the amount that I was short in the first place. That was the good news of the day. Then I hit up Taco Bell for dinner since neither of us felt up to cooking, and Taco Bell has this REALLY cheap menu and all. We rented a movie for the kids (Wow Wow Wubbzy) and a movie for us (The Happening- totally stupid movie, horrible acting, etc.) and called it a night around 8:30. It was pleasant, but then again, it's always good when I get to fall asleep with my little wife. We woke up this morning and we move forward. Life goes on.

That's robbery

So, I officially hate banks. I understand that you shouldn't write checks unless you have the funds available, but you should also not rip people off at any given chance. So, I was a little short for rent, but didn't want to pay the late fee of $50 + $5/day on top of my rent, and I didn't want them posting that note on my door that's embarrassing. So, I floated a check to them on Monday. I was about $100 short or so, at least I thought, but it didn't matter because I worked on Tuesday and could easily make the remainder then and rush it to the bank on Tuesday night. My rent check has always, for the past 3 years taken AT LEAST 2 full days to clear my bank, so I felt good about it. I checked my internet banking and there was a list of 12 things that were "pending", but had been charged up until last Tuesday. Should've cleared by now you'd think. Anyway, I get onto the internet banking on Tuesday morning, at about 5am, and there it was. This big - $568.00 staring at me. So, how does that happen you ask? Well, after speaking with the phone banker, they explained it is Colorado law that they cash large items FIRST, regardless of the date of the transaction, and since they "may have been" expecting my rent check soon- they kept those items pending. So, they cleared the rent check and a couple other things and then they proceeded to hit me with $35 overdraft fees ELEVEN times. Each transaction that incurred this fee was under $15. PLUS- I didn't know this either- when you get gas with a Wells Fargo card.....it doesn't register in your balance except for a $1 charge, until about a week later. That's hilarious. It's so funny that I'm about to cry. Maybe it's my fault for not being Mr. Checkbook balancer but I expect that when I make a purchase, you take that out of my balance immediately. Instead, I get to go into the bank and raise hell. Besides that, my Norton Internet Security expired and now my internet runs slow as molasses and crashes constantly. Plus, Comcast is doing something with the phones and ours is all jacked up and we can't get or send calls from the house at this point. The customer service lady said she'd have to send someone out to fix it, and that it would cost US!!!! We didn't do anything!!! You pay for it!! Uggggghhh- Not to mention that we have Kaitis appointment today at 2:30 and I'm very nervous about that. Anyway, I have to get back to this wonderful life of mine and I'll update when we know more.

Happy Birthday, baby

Guess who's 23 today? Oh man, my girl is getting so old. Today could go either way but I'm hoping everything goes well. Last night Kaiti was having bad pains through her arm and is very worried about the possibility of breast cancer, as am I. But I just have to believe that this is a false alarm. These things don't happen to ME, right? I don't know. Her doctors appointment is on Wednesday and it is at the county office, where it's free. Hopefully it can wait until then. If not, then we are off to the ER where we will accrue a massive bill that we will never be able to afford. Plus, I don't want to spend her birthday in the hospital.

I feel like crap because I have no money to spoil her today with gifts, but I gave her an IOU. She says she doesn't want anything, but I just have to get her something. I am going to take her out for a really good dinner tonight but that's all I can do at this moment.

Anyway, keep your fingers crossed for us and I will definately keep everyone updated.

Happy Birthday sweetheart!! I love you with ALL my heart.

Please be nothing

We found a lump in Kaiti's left breast last week and it has grown. We're getting it checked today (I believe), and I will keep you informed.

Kiss your babies

(Sorry, but this broke my heart yesterday while I was watching football. I can't even imagine losing a child, and watching Matt Bryant kick field goals with tears in his eyes and then blowing a kiss to the heavens was almost unbearable for me.)

TAMPA, Fla. -- Matt Bryant choked back tears.
A day after burying his 3-month-old son in Texas, the Tampa Bay kicker booted three field goals to help the Buccaneers beat the Green Bay Packers 30-21 on Sunday.
"I don't know what I needed today," Bryant said. "It worked out OK. Could've been better, but given the circumstances it turned out OK."
Bryant's youngest son, Matthew Tryson, was found dead at home in Tampa on Wednesday. It will be several weeks before the kicker and his wife learn the cause of death.
Bryant didn't practice all week, and coach Jon Gruden left it up to him to decide if he would play.
"The biggest thing for me, I wanted to honor Tryson's name," Bryant said. "I mean, I don't think it was very fair for his life to end so short. This is the best way I believe I could get out and honor him. I miss him and wish he was here, but he was here with me. He helped out."
Bryant kicked field goals of 23 and 36 yards in the second quarter. His 24-yarder, with 2:26 to go, finished a six-minute drive and put the Bucs ahead for good, 23-21.
"Today was his day," Bryant said. "It was all about Tryson for me. I talked with him, personally, in my head throughout the game. I just wanted to remind him that he's my baby boy and that he's with me all the time."
The Bucs awarded a game ball to Bryant, who has rebounded from a subpar preseason to play an important role in two of Tampa Bay's three victories. He kicked a winning field goal in overtime last week at Chicago.
"If you really knew Matt, this really puts a human touch on everything that is going on in the football world," Gruden said. "This was an unexpected situation. This family is in total shock, and he flew back after a funeral to make the game-winning kick."
Punter Josh Bidwell is Bryant's best friend on the team.
"He's proving right now, more than ever, that he's one of the best in the business. Regardless of his preseason and the struggles that he went through, this is who he is -- he's a gamer," Bidwell said.
"And he came out here and did his job for us, and I think it was therapeutic because he knew we were going to play hard for him. That was the message given to him, even when we were down, that we were going to get this done for you."

Fun with the family

Things are getting a little better than they were in my last post, but I'm still climbing up that hill. A friend of mine at the restaurant gave me $200 to help out, and another of my customers gave me a $110 tip on a $50 tab. So, that takes care of Xcel, plus the rest of the money I made that night will pay the car payment. Also, I won fantasy baseball this year so I will get another $200 this week. That will take care of the car insurance and the interest on the moneytree loan. Now I have to figure out a way to make rent in 4 days. It probably won't happen, but I am gonna do my bestest.

Anyway, as Peter Gabriel said: " I get so tired, working so hard for our survival- But I look to these times with you, to keep me awake and alive." So, Kaiti and I took our babies to a place called Mr Biggs. It's like a giant funplex for kids. We had old credits that we hadn't spent from a previous visit left over so we decided to use them up. The babies love it there. There's a huge ball pit/ playground that is lots of fun. There's also a pretend city there that has all kinds of little houses and stores to go in and play. There's a dress-up place, a jail, a kitchen, a huge sandpit, etc. So that was our day yesterday. It was lots of fun.

Today Kaiti and I, Ok- Kaiti- cleaned out the kids room and we donated a large chunk of there stuff to Goodwill. They have too much stuff and it's really in the way. Plus with Christmas around the corner and birthdays, they can reload, and we will actually have a place to put things. She had a great time cleaning all morning, I'm sure. I was too busy watching football. I'm terrible like that, but it's really all I ask for is that 1 day a week, I get to do nothing.

As for Kaiti and I, we are doing GREAT! Everything is like it was when we first met. There's a little spark there again and we have been treating each other good and following through on our promises to each other. I am so happy that things are changing because we really are a great couple and we complement each other. She is my very best friend and I am so happy right now. Hopefully things never change and then I can dump all my other girlfriends and just keep her. Just kidding. But if she's lucky, she may get a proper proposal here soon. Then we could have a big ol' wedding and everything. Oh man- I'm in love.

Here's some pics to show you-

This is Mad-Dog playing in the pretend prison.

Kenzee was getting dressed up and he was checking himself out

I'm not sure what kind of dress this is, but that's what she wanted to put on.

Kenzee, Mari and Momma taking a stroll at Washington park.

Madden playing in the ball pit.

And this ones for you Momma- Kenzee mid ballerina spin in her fairy skirt. She loves it.

Ok- back to football- I'll talk to you soon.