Friday, September 26, 2008

I don't know if I can do this

Waking up in the morning is usually a good thing. Waking up to your door being knocked down by Xcel is NOT. I knew my account was past due and I needed to make a payment soon, but I guess I ran out of time. So, I had to float them a check for $400, which I don't have. This is going to be the most trying time for me in a long time. Rent is due soon, and now I have negative money to start from. My car payment is due on wednesday, insurance is due Tuesday, Comcast should be shut off any minute now, I had to take out a payday loan and that's due on Tuesday ($300), I just don't know what to do. I am in REAL trouble. Why can't it be February? I have been claiming 1 on my W-4 all year so I have been overpaying on taxes to the tune of about $1300. That way, I get it all back come tax time, on top of the $4200 or so I usually get. I don't think I will be able to sleep until then. I am drowning and have no real prospect of relief anywhere in sight. The economy is definately getting worse. I am Effed. I can do without Comcast for a minute. Now, the kids..... They may have a stroke. Kaiti might too. As for the payday loan, I believe that if I go pay the interest on it, they will extend the due date. I'm not sure. I just don't get it. I make decent money, I don't do anything or own anything extravagant, I don't buy clothes or anything and we just barely scrape by. I can count on 2-3 overdraft charges a month, but it is what it is. Kaiti has 6 months left of school before she starts working, and it cannot come soon enough. For now, I'm going to have to go through my stuff to find things of worth that I can sell because there is not enough time left to make ends meet this month. I hate money.


Abby said...

Oh man..the payday loans are what screwed me and Orion over for WAY too long. And yes, most places that I'm aware of will let you have the loan longer if you pay the interest. Try not to get sucked into that's such a disgusting rip off. But I've been there and I can just feel my blood pressure rising while reading this. Financial worries are the *worst*, aren't they? Why can't things be free? I remember when Orion did one of those cash loans on a bunch of his his glock..his class ring..a super nice camera..his bowflex and on and on it went and then we couldn't even pay the interest anymore because things were so bad that they ended up keeping everything.

Things do get better..things WILL get better. Till the Walton thing and live on love.

I love you, Micah!

Hannah said...

Crap. I so wish we had some money to send to you. We are just about in the same position you are. Hang in there.

Jenna Consolo said...

Micah, this is the same way we live too. It's very, very hard. Cancel the cable. We did. And we have 6 kids. Even when we had it we didn't get movie channels, but still having TV wasn't worth $90/month. We only have one car, which I know you do too. We NEVER eat out. we NEVER go to Target/Walmart/Costco/wherever unless there is something specific that we need. It's too easy to drop $40/$80/$100+ on stuff you don't need. We buy all the kids' clothes at the thrift store, and they never get toys/books/stuff unless it's their birthday/Christmas/they've earned their own money from someone else. I do the coupon thing that Hannah talks about. I make everything from scratch. We don't go to movies or bowling or anywhere really. We walk if we can. We've cut back on so many things to save every nickel and dime and it does free up a lot of emotional and mental energy. You can't do it all though, Micah. You guys have to be on the same page and work as a team. I have lost many a night's sleep over wondering how the bills would get paid. We've gotten three day notices a number of times. That's stressful. My heart goes out to you. If I had it, I'd send you relief.

I love you. Email me any time if you need to. I'm kind of a pro at living on nothing.

YogaNana said...

I think everyone in this family is qualified as *pro* at Living on Nothing. Just about everything Jenna said was the way we lived when you guys were kids, although we didn't walk everywhere. I do remember a couple of times walking the mile or so to Pathmark (because the car was inoperable) with several of the older kids to carry home a bag each, and McDonald's was a treat we only got if my parents sent us McCoupons for Christmas. I could go on at considerable length, but maybe I'll just save that for my own blog. :o)

In any case, yes, I feel your pain. I know what it's like to have numbers endlessly swirling in your head, trying to find a way to make *must* fit somehow within *can.* And we had our power and/or water shut off more than once. It ain't fun. Hang in there, mighty juggler!