Monday, March 24, 2008

Pay it forward

So today is day #8. Not even a sip. It's been very hard but it is something I know I need to continue with. The urges usually come around 5 o'clock and last for a while, but whatever, I know I don't NEED it. The nights have been better, though falling asleep naturally is a bit more challenging than just passing out. The days have been 100% better. This was the first weekend that we haven't stayed home in a long time. Maybe even since before McKenzee. This weekend was a good weekend overall, but it did have its dramatic times. Saturday morning we went rollerskating. Man. Rollerskating? I haven't done that since I was like 8. Kenzees friend Alexis had her birthday party at Skate City and normally I would've opted to stay home and send the wife and kids on their way, leaving me home to get my drink on. But in my efforts to get better as a father, husband and human being- I was all in. I didn't fall in case you were wondering. But then again, I was going superslow. The children were just flying around me and scaring the crap out of me. But I got to skate with Kenzee and that was good for my soul. Mari, who was forbidden to come by Lori, made an unexpected appearance. It turns out that Lori took Mari to an easter egg hunt and was arrested for public intoxication. I guess she also had warrants out for her arrest for fines in Denver and not attending her parenting classes from a child abuse case against her. This is a good thing though because it made way for two things. One, Mari was able to spend the night with us and have an actual easter with Kenzee and MadDog. Egg hunt and loaded basket and all. Two, this may be "rock bottom" for Lori. I believe you need to hit the very bottom before you can ever begin getting better. She has been in jail since Saturday and I'm not quite sure when she will be out. But she has exhausted her options. I'll get back to her in a minute. Anyway, Sunday was Easter of course and it was great. We had fun with the kids and it's always satisfying when you produce a good experience on the holidays for your babies, whether it be Christmas, Halloween or Easter in this case. We went to Great Grandmas for turkey and ham and all the fixings and it kinda reminded me of the days at Grandma VanScivers. Well, last night I noticed something had been bothering Kaiti. I asked what was wrong and she told me she was worried about her mom and what was gonna happen. This goes back a couple of posts ago, to where I said I was the only one who stuck up for her. I still do by the way. I explained to her that we are all that we have. The people that surround us whether it be family, friends, children or each other, we must love each other regardless. I saw that she was reflecting on the things she had said to her mom and the way everybody treats her and it clearly bothered her. Earlier in the day she had a conversation with her parents old friends and they were the very spiritual type. They told her to live life with no grudges and to do kind things all the time and in turn, life would return positive things to her. So, last night while we were lying in bed I came up with the idea to go clean Loris house while she was in prison. Just to give her a nice welcome home to let her know that she is loved. It was a much larger chore than we thought it would be. We knew her house was trashed, but the depth of the filth was deep. But, we got it done and if I do say so myself, it looks marvelous. We rearranged the furniture, because it was just kinda there and not in the right places at all, and we got picture frames and hung pictures of the grandkids on the empty walls. We broke out an old box of pictures Lori had stashed away and framed and hung them too. They were pictures of her brother James, who had passed just recently, pics of her children when they were young, pics of her with her mother from way back in the day and things like that. I think it's important to not have bare walls. We need to surround her with love and support and she must know that she is loved. She just has problems with addictions and we have to help her get better. We dumped all the alchohol in the house and hung decorations and made it all pretty. We also bought two stone garden walkway steps that we put on the wall. One says Live one day at a time and the other says Faith to light the darkened skies. This may all be for nothing, but we are crossing our fingers and hoping to get her better. As for me, tommorow will be day 9 and it's pretty exciting. I've been able to spend time with the people I love with all my heart. That's a high I can't get anywhere else.


Jenna Consolo said...

Congratulations on making it through the first week, Micah! You've been continually on my mind. I love your attitude. I'm learning from you.

Oh, and I love what you and Kaiti did for her mom. I have been in similar situations, trying to do nice things for people and wondering whether or not it was all in vain. I decided it's not. The giving is just as much for the giver. Love to you guys! I wish I knew your sweet Kaiti and children. You're all welcome in southern CA anytime!

YogaNana said...

Your mom is tremendously proud of you. Just so you know.

Jenna Consolo said...

Micah? How are you?