Sunday, June 21, 2009

David Holland

It has been a long time since I have posted anything. It's not that nothing has been happening, because believe me a lot has. We have gone to the museum and the fun park and everything. Things have been great.

Until a couple of days ago.

Kaiti was all set to attend her graduation ceremony from PIMA Medical School on Friday. Her father was in town to be in attendance and we were all so excited to watch her walk up on stage to receive her diploma. She received a phone call early that day from her old friend. She was informed that her best friend was hospitalized and the outlook wasn't so good.

David Holland has been in my wife's life for over 10 years and he was an outstanding guy. He is the Godfather of both of our children and the best friend Kaiti has ever had. He was hardworking. He was kind. He was GREAT with McKenzee, Madden and Mari. He was family. He would call sometimes for Kaiti and I would end up talking to him for long periods about football and we would always make plans to get together and BBQ and watch the game. He took care of my wife when she was down. He was her go to guy. In all the time they knew each other they didn't fight once. They were very close.

David had a problem though. Almost like the demons I had in my past. I struggled for a long time with drugs. Mainly heroine and Meth. I'm still not sure how I escaped the grip of them, but I did. Maybe it was when I got the call from Mom when she wasn't doing well and I had to leave the state and come to Colorado. David's demon was pills. It was bad. Kaiti had expressed to me her concern before. But it's only pills, right?

Recently, Kaiti had gone to his mother and expressed her concern which resulted in him moving back into his parents house so he could get clean. He was doing so well there. He was fixing himself and everything was great. When Kaiti would talk to him she would always relay the message of how well he was getting.

But this night, he must have been lonely.....desperate....couldn't sleep. Late on Thursday night he recieved a phone call from a "friend" telling him she had some really strong Oxycontin. He invited her down to Colorado Springs from Denver. She jumped at it.

He took two.

The next morning they tried to wake him up for work but he wouldn't wake up. They figured he was just hungover or something and let him sleep.

It wasn't until later that they realized he wasn't breathing. He was hospitalized in ICU. The machine breathed for him. He showed very little sign of waking up, but he wrapped his pinkie around Kaiti's finger when she tried to hold his hand. His eye opened for a minute but it was a blank stare.

His body stiffened like he was having quick seizures. His wrist twisted with a half fist showing sure signs of brain trauma. They gave him a 2% chance of waking up.

But he's David. He's a strong man and it's way too early for him to go. I tried my hardest to stay positive. I got angry with Kaiti when she'd cry saying, "He's gonna wake up." I just had to believe that he would be OK.

Not yet...not yet...not now.....

Sunday morning comes and the phone rings early. I answer, mostly asleep, and the lady on the other end asks for Kaiti. I knew it then. I handed Kaiti the phone and she declined, still asleep herself. I said, "Kaiti, I think you ought to take this." Not more than 10 seconds later....it was to be. David had passed.

It just doesn't make sense to me. With all the shit that walks this earth, WHY? My poor angel has to live each day now without her best friend. When we first got the news he was in the hospital, we were with some friends. One of them works in a hospital and he described the things he has to see. Seeing people die. Daily. He texted his boyfriend one night just to say, "I hate it when they die. I love you."

I just don't get why she keeps losing people. She doesn't deserve to be so sad and it breaks my heart because all I strive to do in my life is to see her happy. I don't care about anything else. I would do anything for her. But to see her shattered and not know how to put her together again is the most defeated feeling I've ever felt.

I understand the reality of death. I know that tomorrow is not guaranteed. But losing someone is always difficult. Especially your best friend. Never before has it been more clear to me that I should (and will) tell my children and Kaiti how much I love them and appreciate them everyday. Tomorrow is too late. We have buried her aunt Kelly, her uncle James and now her best friend David. It's been happening too often. I just look at her and taer up knowing the pain she's endured lately. It's always something. I don't know what else to say but-

I hate it when they die. I love you.

9 comments:

YogaNana said...

We saw the two Facebook posts but didn't know anything about David or this situation til now. Of course you can't fix it for Kaiti, she has to grieve and work it through on her own, but you just need to be there with her. I'm so sorry.

Condolences and love,
Mom

Abby said...

It's always the good ones that leave too soon, isn't it? Just because David is no longer in his physical body, doesn't mean he's not still around. He is. I'm sorry you and Kaiti have to go through this right now..give her a big deep hug for me, will ya?

I love you guys.

David said...

So sorry to hear this. Love to Kaiti, and to you.

seantheman said...

Hey man I just got off the phone with you but I thought I'd leave some words on your blog. When you read this I want you to call everyone you know and love and tell them so. Even if it sounds silly. He was BY FAR the closest friend I've lost and 1000s of people are mourning his passing. The best we can do is live a loving, happy life like each day is the last. Embrace the ones you love. Take Katie out to Sister City Park (all of our old hangout) with the kids and inspire them to love life and embrace each day. Tomorrow may not be promised but today is. If Davids death saves even one friend of ours having troubles with drugs or pain meds. then it wasn't in vane. I miss him already but he will live on in our heart' heart forever. Send Katie and the girls my condolences and keep their heads up! If you guys need ANYTHING at all call me I live 3 minutes away. 720 227 6941

Love you man,
Sean aka Sado

Jenna Consolo said...

I hate drugs and the grip they get on people. This is so unfair and tragic. I am so sorry for both of you, especially Kaiti. Tell her we are all grieving with her and give her my love. I can't imagine how much this hurts her.

RickSpur9 said...

As a recovering addict I found this post very informative. I can tell you that addiction therapy is necessary if you want to get sober and stay sober.

mitchystvns said...

This article hit home. When I needed to go to sober living I found that these guys were caring and compassionate.

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Lauren said...

Hi Micah,

You don't know me, but David is our mutual connection. I have some good news your family should hear, if you haven't already. David's in Heaven! I know many people could say this without knowing, but I have proof. David was my inspiration for staying close to God, and he was someone I cared for. After he died, I prayed every single day for about six months for him to get into Heaven. I also asked St Therese of Liseux for a purple rose the moment David made it into Heaven's gates. On the feast of St John Vianney (during the year of priests) during mass, I saw four purple roses by the tabernacle as the priest lifted up the Eucharist! I knew then that David was in Heaven and it continues to give me great comfort and trust in God. I hope this piece of news brings joy to your family and know that David is watching and praying for your family in Heaven! God bless you!

Lauren