Happy Mothers Day

So, yesterday was Mothers Day- and I hope all of you mothers had a great day. Sorry I didn't contact everyone, but I'm just not the phone type. So Happy belated Mothers Day to you all. It was a tricky one for me. See, my bank is still working on trying to get my money back from the credit card company, so I only had a whopping $5 in my account. Not much that you could do with that. I felt terrible because I really love to see my pretty little wife happy and I was helpless. I had a little cash, but only $30 or so and that doesn't even buy flowers on Mothers Day. So, I took her out to lunch at Jose O'Sheas. That was a nice start, i guess. But I couldn't help but feel like I was a bad husband. So, I had her drop me off at work, while she went to pick up the children and see her mom and grandma. She figured I was going to my work to hang out with friends and drink and she was not happy about that. But, c'mon, would I really do that? No, no. I love her way too much. I met up with my friend Aaron, who is a regular at the bar and a really nice guy. He knew the situation and offered to lend me some money so that I could do something for Kaiti. So, we went to the mall and I bought her this skin cream that she's been hinting about and really wanted. It was surprisingly expensive (almost $60). But that's all good. Then I went flower hunting. Believe it or not, it was a lot harder than I thought it would be. We made about 5 stops until I found a place that was both open and still had a selection left. Hello Flowerama!! I had the ladies put together a beautiful bouquet of white carnations and white roses. Really pretty. And of course I had to get the card. She called while I was on my way home and I told her I was still at the bar drinking and she wasn't too excited about that, but it was a big lie, so it's ok. Anyway, she walked in the door and voila, everything was set out on the table for her. She was very surprised and I think she may have been a little happy too. She didn't expect it at all. But she should know me better than that. This is my wife after all and I would do anything for her no matter what lengths I had to go. I also cleaned up the house really good and did all the laundry, put it away and everything just like Orion did. I guess great minds think alike. Then she went off to her brothers to get some time for her and I bathed and fed the babies and put them to bed. So, it was a good day overall and I really hope she enjoyed it. She's the love of my life and even though she is the most difficult woman in the world sometimes, I love her all the time. Happy Mothers Day baby!!!

Let me apologize ahead of time

It turns out that children pick up on things really quick. Especially my lil McKenzee. I don't know where she hears some of the stuff she says to us, but she sure knows some bad stuff. I may have slipped here or there and used some foul language, but it's not like I curse profusely. The other day at Kohls she was chasing Kaiti around the store yelling, "I'm gonna tickle your boobies!" An old lady that was there says, "Nice parenting. She's really being taught good things." How ignorant is that? She'll (McKenzee) will walk up to me and out of the blue, say, "Dad? Where's my f***in' cup?" It just takes you by surprise because she's just this sweet little thing with such a dirty mouth. She was staying at grandmas last night and her grandma had a flashlight that made a smiley face on the wall, and Kenzee looked at her and said, "What the f*** is that?" Ugghhh. We're working on it though. Hopefully by the time we get out there she will have her foul language at bay.

I hate credit cards.

I've decided that I hate credit cards. What a scam. I cut them all up six months ago and have just been trying to pay them off and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. I had just enough money in the bank to pay my rent until, boom, one of my cards deducted $191 without my permission, leaving me scrambling to get money back into the bank to cover my rent check. I disputed it and hopefully I get my money back. I had planned to pay them in a week or so, but they just took it upon themselves to go ahead and make my payment for me. Isn't that illegal? Anyhow, my rent went through this morning and now I am negative in the bank, which I hate because it just goes more negative and I am stressed out of my mind. Hopefully it gets resolved. Anyway, my exercise is going pretty good, but my insides are acting all funny. I've been having pains in my stomach and bad cramping. My body is definately not used to this. I must have been severely backed up or something because my system flushed itself yesterday, BIG time. I know thats gross, but I think I may have lost 5 pounds. I haven't weighed myself yet, but I will on Monday and we'll see if that's the case. I am so ready for this vacation. I can't wait to see everyone again. I want lots of pictures. I just really hope everything goes well. I gotta go running now, so I will talk to you all soon.

Ok-screw this.

Yeah right. It's modification time. That diet is simply insane. I just layed on the bed in pain, just needing some kind of REAL food. I didn't budge though. However, 3 weeks of that is unrealistic. So, I'm modifying my diet. It goes more like this now:

NO bread
NO beer
NO sugar
NO white rice
NO pasta
NO potatoes

That sounds more like the Atkins diet, but I need my protein. I had zero energy yesterday because I was eating a hippie diet. I swear I'll still lose the weight though. It'll just be smaller meals without the above ingredients. Plus, my exercise is going well. Today is day 2, but I've been busting my hump. 60 minutes on the treadmill, weightlifting, boxing and AbLounge. Also, my work schedule doesn't allow me to follow that diet because I am there and busy for 10-12 hours a day. So, if I stuck to this, I'd probably die from malnourishment. Maybe if the food even tasted good on this diet it'd be easier. I had to choke down the EggBeaters, while vomiting in my mouth periodically. The plain yogurt is just terrible. It's just like pouring old milk into a bowl and eating it. Even better is the crappy smoothie with no flavor. Non Fat milk, plain yogurt, unsweetened fruit and ice. MMMMM. That was just great. The 100 calorie pack of cookies is just too little too late. It's about 6 tiny cookies. It just makes you want to cry when you open them. Its like seeing a lake in the desert and then realizing it's just a mirage. So, screw this diet. I'll do it on my own.

vomet

ps- Egg Beaters are not good. Not even a little bit.

I see your Celebrity Fit Club, and I raise you an Ab-Lounge

Ok. Enough is enough. I am a fat man. Period. I'm not like Ethan or Uncle Lauren or anything, but I'm heading in that direction. Under clothing, I can hide it pretty well, but I know that my clothes don't fit the way I want them to and having to exhale to speak is a bad sign. So, after reading Abby's blog, I decided to get in shape myself. However, the Celebrity Fit Club program costs my brokeas* too much, so I went and bought the book for $11. Much better. That book by the way is called "Extreme Fat Smash Diet", for when you need to lose it fast. They say you can lose up to 12 pounds in 3 weeks, which sounds good, but I'm gonna exceed that by far. I have about 3 weeks before I head to AZ, so my goal will be 12lbs by that time. But I just know I will beat it. At this moment, I weigh 187 lbs. I would like to be around 170. So, starting in the morning, it is on like Donkey Kong. My schedule looks like this, (crazy Fat Smash Diet included):

Wake up in the AM

Have a snack (100 calories or less) (I bought 100 calorie snack packs today, so I'm good)

60 minutes of cardio at the little gym downstairs

Breakfast( 1/2 cup Egg Beaters and a piece of fruit)

Meal #2- 1 cup of fresh fruit

Meal #3- small salad with fat free dressing (Sweet Onion dressing from Subway...mmmmm..)

Ab Lounge time. (See, I bought an AbLounge for $250 about two years ago, and I still haven't used it. It just hangs out under the bed. Now's the time.)

Snack #2

Meal #4 1/2 cup beans, 2 servings of veggies.

Bedtime.

Now I know you are all saying, "How could you eat such big, delicious meals and still lose weight?"

Well, the answer is......

Ummmm- what the F are you talking about? That diet isn't even fit for an Ethiopian. However. It needs to be done and I will be living proof that it can be done. It is a 3 week diet and I expect it to be hard. It will be great fun. I will look like the guy from "Into the Wild" at the end before he dies, which by the way is a great movie, if you haven't seen it yet. Anyway, my goal is 170-175 by the time I board my plane. Wish me Luck.

Excitement

So it looks like I'm definately headed out to AZ in a few weeks and I am SO excited. I have to get away from this frozen tundra for a little. I'm so tired of everything and everyone out here right now. I am sick of my job. I am so underappreciated, along with Jonah, because we aren't all flirty with our boss like everyone else. Jonah and i bust our humps at that bar and have so many regulars it's ridiculous, but all we ever get is crap from our boss if we make one little mistake. I wish I had a 9-5 so bad. I hate coming home at 2 in the morning. It wears on you like you wouldn't believe. Maybe I'll start looking for something else. Or maybe this vacation will reenergize me. I don't really talk to any of my friends from Arizona much anymore so I hope I get to see them still. I'm trying to think of all the stuff we need to do while we're there. Any suggestions? I just can't wait to get up and go. I have to get to work now though. I owe, I owe- it's off to work I go. Talk to you soon.